Welcome back players.
We’re 7 Saturdays away from the draft.
For most of us, early-September represents the start of our championship dreams. For Cody and Brandon, it represents the beginning of the end. A slow decline to the inevitable.
A Sacko battle.
We are only graced with this game for four months. But Sacko’s and keeper fuck ups – that lasts a lifetime.
So let’s do a little recap.
Last year, the league did a great job of picking valuable players. With only three teams (Kaden, Cal, Dylan) selecting players that finished worse than RB2/WR2 values.
This year, the league is acutely aware of the benefits and pitfalls of a poor keeper choice. The collective knowledge and awareness around these decisions makes achieving the right mix of young player + draft price + production feel like we’re finding another habitable planet in some distant solar system. I would argue that there is a second way to look at this decision:
Buy It Now.
eBay, famously known for it auctions, often provides a Buy It Now option on listings. Meaning, if you don’t want to play games, you can just get the item for a clear, set price. But the trade-off is that you are waiving any option of a deal, while protecting against any chance you miss out or pay too much.
So instead of trying to find that combination of: young player + draft price + production. You can simplify the equation to just draft price + production. No one in their right mind is going to keep CEH for $102 when his Sleeper auction price is somewhere around $20. But someone in their right mind might want to keep Conner for $24 knowing his projected price at auction is $40+ (HINT HINT).
And speaking of Sleeper, it remains as one of the few (perhaps only) platforms that offers you an auction mock draft. If you are looking to simulate our auction draft or at the very least, see how players are valued, check it out.
You’ll find it right underneath the draft countdown clock on both the web and app versions.
Happy mocking to you.
And happy mocking to a very familiar face at the bottom of this list…
#14 Cody (5-9) r-$199
2021 In A Nutshell: Our tank commander. Our resident sacko. At this point, I’m convinced there isn’t a strategy at hand. Having started the year last year with $250, Cody found a way to end up right back at the bottom. The league has passed two rules in regards to Cody. One, no veto votes (due to his now PAINFULLY obvious Neal championship victory) and two, the anti-tanking rule passed last year that would strip sacko winners of half of any additional winnings over $200. Perhaps a third rule is needed, just to help Cody out: Any three-time sacko winner gets their team auto-drafted for them. Honestly, it might make him a better team.
Roster / 2022 Keeper Price:
R. Wilson $30
Chubb $132
Ogunbowale $10 (FA)
Hill $98
Gage $2
Schultz $10 (FA)
Kirk $4
Zuerlein $4
Browns D/ST $2
Freeman $10 (FA)
Ty Johnson $4
Akers $10 (FA)
Stevenson $6
E. Sanders $4
Jeudy $36
Cardinals $10 (FA)
J. Robinson $20
Investment options:
Kirk $4
Akers $10
Stevenson $6
Buy it now options:
Schultz $10
I don’t mean this in jest, but literally do any of these options move the needle for ANY team in the DVFFL? It’s not like I’m purposefully leaving value on the board here. These four dudes are like nice sweeteners to a larger trade or more accurately, nice gets off the waiver wire. I don’t know if Cody has a foundational vision with these guys. I suppose Akers for $10 hurts the least. But I would HONESTLY be surprised if any one of these players finished in the top tiers of their positions.
Your 2022 Sacko MVP:
Akers $10
#13 Brandon (7-7) $250
2021 In A Nutshell: Our tank driver. Out of all the variables that exist in the DVFFL and the NFL: an extra week being added, changing draft amounts, injuries, literally an entire new calendar year – Brandon and Cody tank it out for the bottom two years in a row. This level of suck and coincidence proves that fantasy football is all luck and no skill, because the latter is very much true for this team.
Player / 2022 Keeper Price:
Mahomes $60
Singletary $18
Barkley $106
Gallup $14
Claypool $28
Fant $16
Cooks $12
Folk $10 (FA)
Broncos D/ST $6
Mac Jones $2
Du. Johnson $10 (FA)
Booker $6
Gaskin $20
Moss $20
Ty’son Williams $8
H. Henry $8
Investment options:
Mac Jones $2
Cooks $12
Buy it now options:
Singletary $18
Jesus. You collect 250 dollars and not any exciting keepers? Honestly, Cooks is the only viable option here. He at least can do things. Everything else is so uninspiring, it’s going to force me to keep this write up short.
Dropped in Week 7 for a bye week TE:
Cooks $12
#12 Kory (4-10) $245
2021 In A Nutshell: Well, that title defense run didn’t go as planned. Kory started the year with his first win in Week 6. His third win by Week 8. And his last win by Week 13. Kory also mysteriously didn’t fetch the full $250. I have no notes or theories as to why he did that.
Player / 2022 Keeper Price:
Burrow $4
Scott $2
R. Jones $2
Diggs $52
Pittman $16
Gesicki $10
Osborn $10 (FA)
Elliott $10 (FA)
Titans D/ST $10 (FA)
L. Murray $8
Hilliard $10 (FA)
M. Sanders $52
Reynolds $10 (FA)
Golladay $18
Sutton $18
Panthers D/ST $10 (FA)
Hyde $18
Investment options:
Burrow $4
Buy it now options:
Pittman $16
Sutton $18
Joe Burrow is the only logical choice here. After trading away Herbert and experimenting with keeping a WR, I can totally see Kory locking up a cheap position. It also helps that the discourse about the Bengals went from yelling at anyone who drafted them last year, to three of them being primetime keepers after their Super Bowl run. Good times. Good times.
Averaging 21 points and at least 3 life-shortening hits a game:
Burrow $4
#11 Dylan (6-8) $242
2021 In A Nutshell: After drafting a team that had the average age of a college freshman, “Dilly Beane” aborts course and spent much of last year pretending to contend then selling the farm in one massive deal to officially close out another disappointing season. The last time Dylan won more than 7 games was in 2017. Let’s see if $242 and a slew of keepers… sorry, keeper, can change that…
Player / 2022 Keeper Price:
J. Chase $18
Investment options:
J. Chase $18
Buy it now options:
N/A
Oh look, another Bengal. Is it clear who Dylan is keeping here? While I commend him for nabbing Chase for $8 bucks. I quite literally don’t understand the strategy of dropping the entire team of potential deals in order to…send a message? Last time Dylan dropped his entire team was in 2020 mid-season after losing. In any case, Dylan had potential pieces he could have attempted to sell to keeper needy teams (and there are several). Could he have fetched $3 draft bucks for St. Brown’s $2 keeper price? A few bucks for a $6 Penny? At least $4 for Mooney’s $6 keeper price? The point is that he could have restocked his cash options closer to $250 again. Instead he has to hope Chase stays healthy through training camp or he’s staring down burning $8 draft dollars on nothing, which honestly, sounds like a very Wilson thing to do (looking at you Kaden).
#3 WR on the year rotting on a team who missed the playoffs:
J. Chase $18
#10 Brian (6-8) $171
2021 In A Nutshell: After an experimental draft last year in netting literally just 5 guys. Brian has returned with about $30+ more draft dollars. His year last year was pretty feisty for a team of 5 players. Making an honest to goodness effort at the playoffs. The biggest net-positive of Brian’s $171 draft dollar situation is that he gave $29 of that to Brandon, which Brandon will inevitably waste on drafting Saquan Barkley for $69 dollars.
Player / 2022 Keeper Price:
L. Jackson $30
Montgomery $60
A. Jones $118
Lockett $36
D. Smith $10
Pitts $50
Bateman $2
Lance $10
Conner $24
Cohen $10 (FA)
Dillon $36
G. Davis $4
T. Marshall $8
N. Collins $10 (FA)
E. Moore $8
Mack $4
Dobbins $10 (FA)
Investment options:
E. Moore $8
G. Davis $4
Bateman $2
D. Smith $10
Buy it now options:
Conner $24
Interested in a 2nd year WR? How about one with a prominent running QB? How about one that has clear top options in front of them? How about one that is a year away from being a fantasy starter? How about one that will have its own training camp hype? All four of these investment options have a predestined future to be redrafted by Brian for 3x their original draft price. Joining another young crop of “wait-and-see” players. I said it earlier as an example, but I think the clear option here is Conner at $24. It’s not that big of a bullet to eat. But from Conner’s market price, Brian would fetch at least a $16 discount on an RB that has the role set for him to finish again as a top 15 back.
Only playable RB for Brian while the other 3 rookie RB’s wait for their situation to improve:
Conner $24
#9 Garrett (7-7) $163
2021 In A Nutshell: I personally relished this year for Gare. The misguided confidence in his team after the draft was delectable to see considering it’s final resting place. Like Dylan the year prior, Gare went all-in on netting “win-now” players with trades in Week 9 and 10 to get Metcalf and Waller. What he received was “win-later” players who helped him finish the season 2-4.
Player / 2022 Keeper Price:
K. Murray $52
C. Patterson $2
Michel $18
Green $2
Metcalf $60
Moreau $10 (FA)
AJ Brown $64
Prater $2
49ers D/ST $4
Wentz $10 (FA)
Abdullah $10 (FA)
Edwards-Helaire $102
J. Reynolds $10 (FA)
Waller $70
Cowboys D/ST $10 (FA)
Henderson $8
Investment options:
C. Patterson $2
Buy it now options:
N/A
Gare might be the first team to just not have a keeper this year. I don’t see him reaching out to Brian for any of those WRs. The asking price would put Gare in the range of uncomfortability. I don’t see him wanting to create a team with $150 bucks. However, he has the ability to do it. Clearly, you can see there is literally only one option on this list. Professor Pleasure himself. This choice is giving me shades of Mike Davis. Same price. Same team. Same position. Same result?
Traded in Week 3 for Mitch’s best RB:
Patterson $2